Week numero 2 of the #tbcbreakfastbonanza and things are going STRONG–thank you to everyone who’s participated! I’m so incredibly heartened to see over 500 photos in the tag, even though there isn’t much of an incentive like shoutouts/mentions/features besides this post on the blog–it shows that people genuinely like the idea and want to make a positive step towards having better, more fulfilling days. I’m honestly overwhelmed with gratitude, thanks so very much!
Ugh, is breakfast not the best? Look at all that goodness. It’s so important to have a good meal at the beginning of a day–when the first yolk of sun is rising and bleeding this beautiful pure sunshine in gentle, warm pools over your floors through the slats in your blinds or filtering through the fabric of curtains. The sky is especially blue, and there’s this crispness in the air that can’t be beat. A freshness in the wind that blooms in your lungs. There’s something fragile about mornings–like the porcelain brittleness of an eggshell, or the vulnerability of a dewy flower in your hand, fresh and waxy petals cool against the skin of your palm. And it is that fragility every morning–in little ways like the slow spill of warm sunshine through my eyelids as I slowly come to consciousness, the coolness of the floor beneath my bed-softened feet, or the mint of toothpaste lingering on my tongue–that I love so much about mornings. Things are a little better when I can see the time where the sun shines the purest, when I’m able to enjoy a good breakfast, when I still feel light after a night’s sleep.
This week it’s been a struggle to be positive. Too often matters like inadequacy, inner sorrows and unresolved feelings ruin my day–even though I make (and I’m glad I now do) a conscious effort to start a day off right and with a big, goofy smile. Through my little project though I’ve learnt one thing myself this week–I’ve accepted that I’m not okay sometimes emotionally and psychologically, although I’m pretty much a-ok foodwise. And that’s perfectly fine; even though it may be a long time before I’m ever okay. Maybe I’ll never be totally okay. Now the word okay is looking weird. But I’ll try my best, do my best, fall back on the things that I love and keep me going. Take a break every now and then to regroup, pick up some pieces, or look inside and see what’s wrong. Maybe even collapse once in a while. I’ll remember though to keep trooping on–it’s fine to bawl your heart out and mope around like a sad cloud or use up a box of tissues and be a living snot rag. Emotions need outlets, but just remember that life isn’t lived if it’s spent doing all of those! Life is about hurtling along the best as we can, sometimes doing the above when things get rough or when everything quashes you flat as a pancake, but just picking yourself up after no matter how scraggledy or higgledy piggledy the process is. And then running, running again. You’ll probably fall again, but things are much better if you look at the BEST instead of the DEPRESS (yes this is not a proper rhyme no it does not matter)
ANYWAY…on to the sunshine! Even though my own days haven’t been great, you guys have greatly given me inspiration and strength and new motivation to go on. Here are some things I’ve learnt from you guys this week!
First of all my very very dear friend Chels @feedingmindbodysoul has really been a huge light in my life. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know this pure ray of absolute sunshine who is both genuine, heartfelt, passionate, strongly loyal and incredibly kind. In the short month or so that I’ve come to be acquainted with this lovely friend she’s already taught me so much–and I’ve learnt even more this week. Recently just before a dance competition poor Chels was struck down with a horrid flu that gradually transgressed into awful pneumonia, but still powered on like a soldier because she’s that incredibly invested and passionate about what she’s doing–“For #tbcbreakfastbonanza today I am grateful for my passion for dancing. Even when too sick to dance and I can only watch, it makes me so happy, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else”. She let herself rest but still did all she could to keep going back, to keep pushing herself so she could give her ultimate best–and hearing how she powered through the competition despite having absolutely horrible effects afterwards and actually winning champion was inspiring to no end. Seeing how much direction she has really made me think–I hope to one day find something or further my love in what I’m currently doing to have that strong, unwavering sense of “yes this is right–this is what I do, this is what I love doing.” And with hope, I’ll be able to do what I love when I grow up. To live a life that is truly living!
and @teenrunnnner (who has been supporting my little hashtag from the start, so thank you so much <3) mentioned something very important: ” wanted to take a picture bc it was gorgeousss but I sat down with my dad at the table and I realized that it would ruin the moment- it would be better to just sit and enjoy the meal instead of obsessing for about 10 minutes over taking the picture. idk what I’m really trying to say, I love taking pictures and stuff for this account, but sometimes you have to forget the picture and just enjoy life, ya get what I’m saying? #tbcbreakfastbonanza@tumblinbumblincrumblincookie A positive thing about this morning is enjoying breakfast with my daddio ” Sometimes with the advent of social media and technology we tend to forget the things that matter most beyond pixels and Wifi (although they are important). Very often my mum will be watching korean dramas, I’ll be procrastinating on some dubious internet rampage, my brother will be giggling at youtube videos of other people playing Team Fortress…you get the idea. Sometimes we really need to stop and connect–not to 3G, not to Wifi, but the things that really matter.
Jay (@waitinginthatspace) shared a lovely fruit platter with something important behind the fruity fun: “nope, this platter isn’t for me! It’s for my mother, just because. This is the best thing recovery has blessed me with: the capacity to care for others. My eating disorder made me anxious all the time, self centred and a terrible person in general. Now I understand that caring and receiving are not mutually exclusive; in loving others I’m loved in return. Many thanks to @tumblinbumblincrumblincookie for starting the #tbcbreakfastbonanza movement, as I truly believe that happiness and positivity are things worth celebrating and sharing. Today’s quote by J M Barrie: ‘Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.'” As I’ve experienced, an eating disorder is a rather selfish illness. It’s all for itself–at the risk of everyone, including you. To do this was to break a little out of the me, me, me mindset of an eating disorder and I think that is truly brave.
@positivityshines ‘s entry hit home–she says here: “I want to share something that everyone says a lot, but something we should all really take to heart: learn to love yourself before loving others. I know I talk about positivity and self love/acceptance a lot, but this so important to really understand! I’ve heard this phrase so many times in the past and just thought to myself “yeah yeah I got it.” but i think I’m coming to realize the verity and importance of that sentence. one of my goals for summer is just that: to love myself who for I am. for what I am. for how I am.” I’m guilty of this, and I’m nowhere close to loving myself–but I’ll keep trying. And the comments below in response are absolutely amazing too–give them a look!
And just as I was getting downtrodden and downcast by bad things that have happened/ are happening/ will happen soon, I saw @blueeyedkitchenstories caption here: “oday I am thankful for every moment in my life. YES! EVERY single Moment. I am thankful for who I have become and the things I have achieved. Yes there are things that I am not proud of and sad moments that I rather would want to forget. Moments of anger, fights, tears and a lot of changes. But I wouldn’t ever want to change anything in my Life. All these things happened for a reason. My past is the reason for who I have become, the cause for everything that will happen in the future. And I can’t wait for what life has in store for me. My destiny is a secret and fate will lead me. So let the games begin cause I am not afraid to fail and ready to succeed. ” It’s hard to always put in faith and invest trust in something we don’t know for sure and have no concrete way of finding out/seeing/feeling/touching/breathing/eating but sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. Even if it’s painful flow. And I’m not talking about you know what although the parallels are getting a little too close for comfort here right I think I shall stop right now
So. Onward, soldiers! Let’s all troop on, with big smiles on our faces. Things will get better, especially with breakfast. Thank you all for your lovely and inspiring captions!